Sunday, February 23, 2020

Letter to Myself: Catalyst for change

Dear angry lil wolf,

Let the day of today, Friday the 15th become a catalyst for change in you. You have thrived on your “hard to be with” personality but now there’s a requirement in the world to change it. You have asked and demanded such things out of people which no ordinary person could ever or would ever give you. And so, the only persons who cared the most about you were the ones who had little in their lives to care for. 

Being pampered is one of the reasons, you make it so hard to love you. Sometimes, I don’t love you either. I don’t like looking at you in the mirror or hearing your thoughts. It downgrades me to such an extent. Sometimes you are too arrogant and egoistic despite being hollow and more often than not, a pretentious psycho. 

Stop.

The insecurities exist. Accept them. 

You are not the best person in the world. But you can try to be a good person at least. 

Anger is not “cool” and neither is being rude. Indifference is just a distraction technique. Wake up to the realities of the world and learn to deal with it. 

When you are angry, think rationally. When you are sad, find out the reason why and resolve the issues. 

Live carefree and care only about your wellbeing, and that of the people around you too. 

Have a healing touch, a friendly smile and an open heart for all. 

But be brave while facing problems, be confident and smart. Learn who to trust and who to keep at an arm’s length. Trust your brain over your heart and know this – you won’t forever be twenty. 

Excuses run out. Justifications run out. Don’t learn to lie. Learn to fight your battles in a better way instead. 

By winning.

And, stop saying you don’t have any friends or you don’t wanna make any friends. It’s about efforts and priority. And stop wasting your time on “emotions”. 

Your scheduling option was best, but learn to schedule in your brain. Stop loosing your memory. Start using it more. Use your thoughts, use your language, use your analytical mind because you have one. Take initiatives. Learn, learn and learn. Stop saying “I know nothing about this.” If you don’t then find out. 

When you’re taken aback or taken off guard, take a step back. 

Find a brain mouth filter and use it.

Think about reactions and act accordingly.

Become the Machiavillian prince, only better. 

Grow up, little girl. It’s time. You’re not so little anymore. 

But as for your heart, let it be a child occasionally. As for your emotions, channel them into art. As for the things you find abstract but beautiful, draw them in your life. Life’s too short and you’re half past it already. It’s time for the leap of faith, so jump. 

Yours truly

The one who almost or perhaps did destroy something beautiful

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