Sunday, February 23, 2020

Letter: You gave me things, I gave you feelings

My dearest,

You always give me stuff that I was supposed to read, inhale and keep deep into my psyche. I am always giving you stuff that you were supposed to keep close to your heart. The things you gave me became obsolete objects on my shelf. The things I give you, you still keep in your backpack.
And it’s not that I don’t like what you give me, those things were all quite interesting, quite exhilarating, made me think deeper.

But what I gave to you gave you feelings, made you feel deeper. That is why you carry them around with you wherever you go, don’t you? That’s why you carry me around wherever you stop, don’t you?
And it’s alright, it’s alright you were always the one who is more into the new amazing and mentally challenging things. That’s why you’re into me aren’t you? And it’s alright that I was always the more emotional one, unachievable one that I needed to go rogue and that is why I’m into you, isn’t it?
But there will be a day when you stop carrying all these feelings around in your backpack and there will be a day when I just clean up my shelf and there will be a day when we stop fitting in like two pieces of a puzzle and there will be a day when there won’t be a you anymore and there won’t be a me anymore and then we both will not be carrying any load, we won’t be carrying each other anymore and we both will say it’s alright, it’s alright. It’s ok, isn’t it?

So I should definitely stop staring at my shelf and looking at all the pieces of you that I am still supposed to reach out to and you should really clean out your backpack on every weekend and just push me out of your life to imagine what it would be like without me in it. So we both can have some space from each other, to stop inhaling and exhaling the same air every single day, every single movement of the rest of our lives because we won’t be there together in it for the rest of our lives and we have to get used to the way it would be without me in you and you in me.

Love.

The one that isn’t meant to me. 

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