There’s this bitter taste in my mouth and it’s not from the bad experiences.
It’s from all the good things in life. They leave this glittery trail behind, it’s blinding to a man like me. Every time I see the rain, I’m left with aching of getting drenched in it.
But no, I cannot. I cannot go out. I cannot survive if I step out in the world.
Every time I see the leaves dance and fall to the autumn wind, I want to pick one up and press them in my book. But if I touch a leaf, it’d fall apart in my hand. My hand would disintegrate too. For that is my curse.
This window to the world, that shows me all the things, that are quite out of reach. I can see her laughing and dancing but I cannot hear the sound she makes. I cannot hold and guide her steps.
I cannot step on the earth, my feet will melt. The scent of early morning, I’ve never had. It’s unbearable, all the good things in life. Does my life not deserve to be alive?
I see such colours, when I’ve never seen my own eyes. The colour of my skin matches with the skies. Am I a monster or an anomaly?
Why am I caged, what did I do to not be free?
I remember back to the time I had my first cry. Born out of a star collapsing, I existed in the vaccum of lies. The bloodshed kept extending my limbs, the violence instilled the blood into me, the hatred is what made my heartbeat. Still, I look at the world and I only see the things that are just out of reach.
The good things in life, just aren’t for me.
I scratch my skin, with every spoken truth. I feel the fire underneath me with every smile. The color of the rainbow renders me blind. How I envy these birds that get to fly.
These things that cause me pain, I still wanna see. For the good things in life, never come for free.